How to Keep Divorce Amicable - Practical Advice from Claire Nash Solicitors

How to Keep Divorce Amicable – Practical Advice from Claire Nash Solicitors

No one walks down the aisle expecting to end up in a solicitor’s office years later. Yet, for some couples, divorce becomes the healthiest choice.

The good news is that divorce doesn’t always have to mean bitterness, blame or endless court battles. It is possible to part ways with respect and understanding. An amicable divorce helps couples move forward more peacefully – and it can make a huge difference to any children, finances and emotional wellbeing.

At Claire Nash Solicitors, we’ve helped many clients in Crowborough, Haywards Heath and across Sussex to navigate divorce in a calm and constructive way. Here’s how you can do the same.

What does an “amicable divorce” actually mean?

When people talk about an amicable divorce, they usually mean a process where both partners cooperate and agree to keep things civil.

It doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, but it does mean putting communication and fairness first.

Since the no-fault divorce law came into force in England and Wales in 2022, there’s no longer any need to prove that one person was to blame. You simply confirm that the marriage has broken down beyond repair.

This change has made it easier for couples to avoid arguments about fault and focus instead on practical arrangements – such as finances and children – in a more positive way.

Why it’s worth staying amicable
Keeping things friendly brings clear benefits:

• Lower stress and cost: the less time spent in conflict, the less you spend on legal fees.

• Better for children: a cooperative approach shows children that their parents can still work together.

• Quicker resolution: reaching agreement outside court usually means the process moves faster.

• Greater emotional wellbeing: when you both act with respect, it’s easier to heal and rebuild your lives.

A nationwide survey of family law clients found that almost half described their separation as “friendly” or “amicable”, showing that this approach is becoming more common – and more realistic – than ever.

Six ways to help keep your divorce amicable

1. Don’t rush it
Often one spouse has been thinking about divorce longer than the other.
If that’s you, give your spouse time to catch up emotionally before pushing ahead. Moving too quickly can make them defensive, which leads to more tension later.

Take small, manageable steps and agree together on what happens next.

2. Get informed
Understanding how the law works takes some of the fear out of the process.
For example, the courts in England and Wales usually start from the idea that matrimonial assets should be divided fairly – often equally – but they will adjust this depending on factors such as income, housing needs, pensions and the welfare of any children.

When both parties understand these principles, it’s easier to have realistic expectations and reach sensible agreements.

3. Consider mediation or collaborative law
If you can’t agree on finances or arrangements for children, there are options other than going to court.

• Mediation involves an independent third-party professional who helps you both find middle ground.

• Collaborative law means each of you has your own specially trained solicitor, but everyone commits to resolving matters without litigation.
  

These alternatives can save time, money and emotional energy.

4. Be open about money
Trust is vital in an amicable divorce. Hiding or undervaluing assets can destroy goodwill instantly.
You’ll each need to provide a clear picture of your financial situation – income, savings, property, debts and pensions. This “financial disclosure” forms the basis for any fair settlement.

When everything is out in the open, negotiations are much smoother.

5. Keep emotions in check
No matter how calm you try to be, emotions will surface.
When they do, take a break before saying something you might regret. Try to focus on the future rather than the past. Using “we” language (“We need to work out how to share the house”) instead of “you” language (“You’re taking everything”) can make a huge difference.

Some people find it helpful to work with a counsellor or divorce coach to stay grounded and positive.

6. Make it legally binding
Even when you’ve reached an agreement, it’s important to formalise it.
A consent order – a court document recording your financial agreement – ensures it’s legally binding and prevents future disputes.
For child arrangements, a parenting plan or a child arrangements order gives clarity and avoids misunderstandings later.

Your solicitor can draft these documents and submit them to the Court for approval.

The main legal steps, in plain English

Divorce application: You can apply on your own or jointly with your spouse.

Waiting period: There’s a 20-week reflection period before the next stage, giving time for discussions and agreements regarding the finances.

Conditional order: This confirms that the court accepts the marriage has broken down.

Final order: This legally ends the marriage.

Alongside these steps, you can negotiate finances and children’s arrangements – ideally before the final order is granted.

When things can’t stay amicable

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, the other person refuses to cooperate. In cases involving emotional abuse, controlling behaviour or complex finances, it may be impossible to reach agreement informally.

If that happens, a specialist family law solicitor can protect your rights and guide you through the court process while keeping communication as calm and professional as possible.

Moving forward

Divorce marks the end of one chapter, but it can also be the start of something new and often better.

By focusing on cooperation and understanding rather than conflict, you can move on more easily – financially, emotionally and practically.

If you’re considering divorce and want advice about keeping the process amicable, the team at Claire Nash Solicitors is here to help. We’ll explain every step in clear language, outline your options, and support you in reaching fair and positive solutions.

Call us on 01892 731082 or send us a message by clicking here